THE MIRACLE OF THE TOILET by Ekene Umeike

This is a norm in most public places in Nigeria including private places. The toilet is supposed to be kept very clean and hygiene not otherwise. It is time we take matters seriously and proper actions taken starting with these fast food restaurants. This embarrassment has to stop, we need cleaner and more hygienic toilets around. 
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THE MIRACLE OF THE TOILET

The University of Nigeria, the first indigenous university in Nigeria, and certainly one of the most prestigious. With all the accolades and the impressive motto – “To restore the dignity of man”, a first time visitor might not be blamed for having high expectations.

However the reality at the Nsukka campus where I am studying electronic engineering is quite sorrowful. I could write volumes on the many problems plaguing the school but I will touch on one in particular, one that students can do nothing to avoid – the toilets.

Before I first arrived at the University of Nigeria Nsukka (UNN), I thought I knew what a dirty toilet was, even if I had not seen the worst, then I could at least imagine it. But now, after my first year of study at UNN, I have finally been convinced that it can be very dangerous to be over confident in one’s own opinion. No matter how solid I felt my opinion was, witnessing the miracle of how the toilets in school which by far surpassed my wildest imaginations of a filthy toilet somehow managed to get worse was enough to convince me that I needed to keep an open mind (and blocked nostrils).

Never before in my life have I been afraid of using a toilet, irritated? Yes, disgusted? Certainly, but never afraid. So it was a totally new experience for me when I was granted the opportunity to witness the miracle of the toilet as it occurred at my hostel of residence.

Eating at some point became a problem, because I realized that as long as food goes in, then inevitably something just has to come out too. Anytime this dreaded call of nature came, it was met with a heavy heart and so after preparations, good well wishes from roommates I traversed the now seemingly long (not to forget dirty) corridors with as brave a face as I could put up as I went to face my fate. From a few metres away from the toilet a slightly stronger aroma than the one around the rest of the hostel filled the air. Within the toilet, with limited oxygen, I had to quickly choose the deep blue sea over the devil in the form of a dirty toilet over dirtier ones. Tiptoe, tiptoe… to select the least urine flooded part of the floor and hope that my footwear would be enough protection for my feet.

Totally Opposite this!

I cannot do justice with words to the contents of each cubicle. Let it suffice for me to say that each water closet represents a unique ecosystem comprising simple micro-organisms, insects and occasionally rats. Several boys, unable to manage, settle for the surrounding bushes. Some others manage the toilet but insist on taking a bath immediately after. Neither of these has ever appealed to me. These days though, the bush is looking nicer and nicer. As for taking baths, I have always considered it a second evil. I will reserve the story of the bathrooms for another day.

In conclusion, I would like to extend an invitation to anyone looking for something extreme to do. Since we don’t bungee jumping, sky diving or similar things in Nigeria a few weeks with the UNN toilets are sure to

push you to the edge.

Ekene Umeike

9th November 2004